Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Cynical Desires

I was recently at a sixteenth birthday celebration for a girl that I hardly know, and a series of less-than-fortunate circumstances caused me to desire an inverted world (sexually speaking), if only for a short while, for the education of the ignorant masses. Let me explain myself.

The girl of the celebrated birth (the celebrated post-birthed one? :) ) elected to watch "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby," a movie lacking largely in importance although blessed with a few redeeming qualities. In the movie, one of the protagonist's primary racing competitors (he is a race car driver) is a homosexual man, and this man quickly became the antagonist of my companions, as well. My entire situation was highly ironic, in my opinion. During the movie, I was seated next to the newly-wed parents of the birthday girl (a second marriage, if ages have you confused) who were not attempting in the slightest to be discreet. They were rather open with their kissing, flirting, caressing, etc. It was awkward to begin with, and it only escalated as people surrounding me made comments towards the movie about how terribly disgusting it was that this gay race car driver had a husband, and not only that, a husband that he kissed! What horror! :) The parents began to make ignorant comments about real homosexual couples that they had seen, and it was almost hilarious to me to witness their naivety.

As all of this was occurring around me, I found the therapeutic solution to this problem. These homophobic, ignorant people simply need a dose of the opposite reality. If, by some blessed miracle, these people could be placed in a society where the majority of the romance around them was homosexual, where it was only appropriate to portray homosexual relations in the media, and where an in-love homosexual couple seated next to them made fun of heterosexuality, their atrocious behavior would be much more justified. And I would be happy. How twisted and slightly excellent would that be? :)

The tone of this post is supposed to be funny. I'm really not bitter, but I would love for these individuals to experience what I described above. It would be hilarious, and so much empathy would flow forth from the nescient heterosexuals that refuse to understand that differences occur within their very own realities.

I am such a gay-rights activist.


Anonymous said...

I'm with you! This world needs a huge dose of empathy. Your sense of humor pulled you out of a crazy situation. The power of our thoughts is amazing. Good for you!

John Galt said...

I've thought this same way many times. Also, when trying to help a straight friend understand my insides, I sometimes revert to telling them to imagine being forced to be with someone of their own sex while wanting the other. Life becomes very messy quickly. I like your blog and your thoughts. Thanks for sharing. JG

Rebecca said...

Amen to that! It would be HILARIOUS, and hopefully televised.

Foxx said...

There's a musical that explores the idea of an inverted world. It's called Zanna, Don't! High-larious.