Wednesday, December 6, 2006

A Frightening Assignment

Imagine my surprise when my psychology teacher placed in front of me a piece of paper with many scandalous references to homosexual behavior. I glanced at the page and read the first few paragraphs, entirely in shock that we were going to be studying such lewd conduct. Let me quote a few examples for you here of what I read.

"I wear tight pants.
I pat men on their bottoms.
I often end up at the bottom of a pile of men."

"I shave my legs.
I travel quickly through groups of men.
I wear form-fitting clothes."

"I shave my entire body.
Sometimes other men help me shave.
I wear a small, tight bathing suit."

Besides the fact that Attempting the Path and I do all of these things all of the time, I found them traumatizing, to say the least. :) This is my teacher's idea of fun. These are all riddles, of course, although I will be the first to say that they are lacking largely in wit and intelligence and are somewhat disgusting and odd. I can never look at my psychology teacher in the same way.

By the way, I'm hosting a competition for anyone who can solve the riddles and guess what types of people these phrases truly represent (each paragraph is its own identity). I'll give you one hint--none of them is a lascivious male prostitute, although that was my first guess, too. :)


Samantha said...

1. Samantha--oh, wait, I don't pat men on their bottoms, so...Silvester Stallone? football player?
2. Samantha--oh, wait, I don't shave my legs, so...stewardess? nun? faghag?
3. Samantha--oh, wait, I usually don't shave my head (and those other men helping me shave sometimes miss a spot here and there), so...Olympic swimmer? person about to have open heart surgery? Chippendales dancer?

Anonymous said...

Football player



el veneno said...

Close anonymous, but I think it's
football player,
runner (sprinter really),

Anonymous said...

Football player
Track runner